Planning for safety

If you’re experiencing domestic and family violence, it can feel overwhelming to make decisions and think about what to do next. But you can get help to plan for safety.

Safety planning

Safety planning is thinking about what you can do to be safer if you live with domestic and family violence.

You may already be taking actions to support your safety. You may be thinking about leaving your home and your relationship. Or you may be thinking about staying.

Whatever your situation is, the safest way to plan is with a specialist domestic and family violence service .

They have experience developing safety plans with a wide range of people. They can help you:

• discuss your safety
• assess your situation.

Every safety plan is different. Your plan will be based on your unique needs and circumstances.

Your plan might include trusted friends and family members and other support services. You should review your safety plan regularly to make sure it’s up to date.

Get help making a safety plan.

Help with children

If you are a parent or carer, you may have concerns about the immediate safety of your children. You may be wondering what they have seen and what they know. You may be thinking about how to talk to them about what has happened.

Children are not just witnesses to domestic and family violence. Like you, they are victims of a pattern of behaviour that is meant to make them feel fearful and unsafe. This can have long-term impacts on their health, their emotional and social wellbeing, and their education.

Try to remember that you are not responsible for the impact that domestic and family violence has had on your children.

There are services that can help you as a parent to support your children. There are also services that can work directly with your kids, helping them to make sense of what has happened, and supporting their recovery.

Find support for your children.

Help with pets

If you are worried about the safety of your pets, think about talking to a family member or friend who could look after them.

Some services that offer short-term accommodation to people affected by domestic and family violence allow pets. Most do not.

The RSPCA in Canberra can sometimes provide short-term care for pets through Project SAFE. One of the ACT’s domestic and family violence services can help organise a stay with Project SAFE.

Help with housing

Crisis accommodation services are sometimes called refuges or shelters. They provide temporary accommodation for victim-survivors. This accommodation may be shared or you may be given a place of your own. The safety of people using crisis accommodation is a priority, so there are often restrictions for visitors.

Most crisis accommodation in the ACT is coordinated through OneLink . You can contact OneLink directly, but you might find it easier to talk to one of the ACT’s domestic and family violence services first. Places in crisis accommodation in the ACT are limited and you will need to discuss your situation with these services.

Leaving your home is not always possible. If you want to stay in your home and learn more about your options, contact a domestic and family violence service. You can also read more about the legal actions you can take.

Help with finances

Dealing with financial matters before, during or after leaving a violent relationship can be complicated.

You might be taking control of your own finances for the first time. Or you might be working out how to deal with things you share like joint bank accounts, mortgages and assets.

You may also have to work through the impacts of financial abuse. This could include understanding how your money has been used or misused.

There are specialist services in the ACT that can help.

Get help with your financial situation.

Help with legal action

Sometimes a safety plan might include applying for a Family Violence Order (FVO). These orders prohibit a person from engaging in behaviour that makes you fearful or unsafe.

Family Violence Orders may not be suitable for your situation. You can talk about this with a legal service or a domestic and family violence service.

Read more about FVOs and your legal options.

Help with online security

It is common for people experiencing domestic and family violence to be harassed, stalked, impersonated or threatened by their perpetrator online. This is called ‘tech abuse’ or ‘technology-facilitated abuse’.

Read about the different forms of domestic and family violence.

Perpetrators can be very good at concealing what they are doing. If you feel like something is wrong, trust your instincts.

Signs that you might be experiencing tech abuse

• A perpetrator has information about you or other family members that you know you haven’t shared.
• A perpetrator shows up unexpectedly at places where you or other family members are living, working or socialising.
• Your passwords no longer give you access to your online accounts.
• Your electronic devices work much more slowly or run out of battery faster than usual. This could be a sign that tracking apps or spyware are being run in the background.
• You receive abusive messages from strangers or anonymous senders.
• People you know receive fake or abusive messages from your online accounts.
• You see unusual activity on your online accounts, such as posts being liked or disliked, or emails being marked as read, without your involvement.

Reporting tech abuse

Many tech abuse behaviours are crimes under Australian law, including:

• sending threatening emails and texts
• using tracking apps and spyware
• sharing intimate images or videos without consent.

This means they can be reported to the police. You can speak to a legal service that specialises in domestic and family violence  about this process if you don’t want to go directly to the police.

You can also report tech abuse to the eSafety Commissioner. The eSafety Commissioner can:

• have abusive content removed from an online platform
• issue a formal warning to the perpetrator. The warning is not legally binding and will not affect the person’s criminal record.

Find out about making a report to the eSafety Commissioner.

Protecting yourself online

To help protect yourself online:

• use privacy settings on your social media accounts
• turn off location settings on all your smartphone apps
• make sure the browsers you use to access the internet are safe.

Technology changes all the time, so the advice on how you can keep yourself and your devices safe changes too.

Get advice about online safety planning from the eSafety Commissioner.

Explore the Wesnet Women’s Technology Safety and Privacy toolkit.