Supporting someone affected by domestic and family violence

Around 1 in 4 women have experienced violence or abuse at some point in their lives.

If you’re worried about someone you know, here are some ways to support them and behaviour you may have noticed.

You can also get support and guidance from a service such as Domestic Violence Crisis Service.

Things you may be noticing

Domestic and family violence includes a wide range of behaviours that are meant to make someone feel intimidated or unsafe.

Physical harm is not the only sign. There are other types of domestic and family violence too .

If you’re worried about a friend or family member, it might be because you have noticed some of the following:

• the person seems intimidated by their partner
• they seem anxious to please their partner
• their behaviour changes when their partner is present
• they seem withdrawn, or scared to speak when their partner is present
• they feel like they have to give their partner updates about where they are and who they are with
• they seem to be worried about being watched
• they make excuses for their partner’s behaviour
• they talk about their partner being jealous
• they have bruises, scratches or other signs of injury which are hard to explain
• you have seen or heard their partner look at, speak to, or touch them in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable
• they withdraw from social activities, such as seeing you, their family or friends, without explanation.

Things you can do

Let them know you care. Your support could make the difference. It could help them start thinking about what they want to do next.

Let them tell you about their experience. Listen and don’t judge them, or make decisions for them.

The victim-survivor of domestic and family violence likely knows the risks they are facing, and what they need to do to keep safe. Let them be the decision-maker and let them know you will support them.

Leaving the relationship isn’t always a safe option for them or their children. Immediately after leaving a relationship the risk of violence can be increased.

You can show support by letting them know:

• you believe them
• they are not to blame for what is happening
• there are services in the ACT that can support them and help keep them safe
• you will stand by them.

For more detailed advice on how to support the person you care about, you can contact a specialist domestic and family violence service.