Affirmative consent

How to talk about consent

Better communication equals better sex!

Talking to your partner means you'll both feel safe and comfortable getting intimate. Ask about what they're into, what they're up for, and what they're not so keen on.

This is a great opportunity to talk about what you like in the bedroom before you start getting hot and heavy. Listen to what your partner says, and in turn you can tell them what you like and what is off the table for you.

If you want to try something new in the bedroom, have a discussion before springing it on your partner. This is a good idea even if you've been together for a long time.

Seeking consent

Seeking consent isn't going to ruin the mood. It will make you and your partner feel safe, comfortable and free to have a good time.

But how do you do it? Here are some simple ways to seek consent, both before and during sexual interactions:

It's important to seek consent every time you engage in intimate activities with someone. Even if it's someone you've had sex with many times before.

Take note of your partner's body language. Have they gone still and quiet? Are they pulling back? Sometimes people find it hard to say 'No' or ask to stop. They might freeze if they are unsure of what to do. If they aren't giving you an enthusiastic 'Yes!' then stop, check in and ask if they want to keep going.

Withdrawing consent

You or your partner can say 'No' or 'Stop' at any time to withdraw consent. You can do this part way through a sexual activity and without giving a reason.

'No' is a complete sentence.

But if you're looking for other ways to slow things down, here are some useful phrases you can use to withdraw consent:

Get help if you're experiencing sexual violence